Valentine's Dedication-

A couple weeks after my 18th birthday and 4 weeks after I lost my virginity, I found out I was pregnant. It was the most shocking day of my life. I was as naive as they got and really wasn't too sure on how the whole thing really worked. I had told my hairdresser I lost my virginity and she asked me if I took a pregnancy test yet? I was like.....why would I do that? Anyways, that afternoon she bought me one and to my complete surprise it was positive.

At this point in my life I was already looking into building my first home....I had 4 top 5 singles in the CCM market and a #1. I was on a tour that had 15-25k people a night. Life was looking amazing for me. I was working on my next album and was set to open up a Christmas tour with Cece Winans (my inspiration) for Christmas that year. When I saw the test all I could think about was letting everybody down. My mangers, booking agents, record label, producers, road manager, business managers...My family! You automatically go to the easy way out. How can I hide this? Where can I run?? Who's going to save me???

After a week of processing this I decided the best thing to do would be to go through with the pregnancy, tell the people on tour and resign from my career. As a Christian artist at the time, this sort of thing was a big ol' bomb shell. I was pretty much alone immediately after. I was very ill throughout the pregnancy and at home in bed, left to my thoughts.

You automatically think your life will be OVER. Well little Jaslyn Taylee made her way into the world. She has been with me Since the day I became an adult. She put up with an 18 year old Mama who wanted to sleep in sometimes and be young. She put up with me chasing a dream and touring on the road. She put up with a few bad men choices.

I realize she is the Valentine I've been looking for. A few weeks ago I sat next to her in the hospital and held her little hand while she teared up from her pain. I would give anything up for her. It is the most heart wrenching moment when you are helpless to not be able to fix something for the one you love.

She brought me a little box of chocolates to my bed this morning and a card that she wrote inside "you are my life, I live for you". Through a lot of painful years and bad blows I know that she is my life, and she has kind of kept this crazy singers life on track as well.

She is my wing girl....She is my strength....She has watched me grow up and I have watched her grow up. She has the most beautiful singing voice coupled with a beautiful heart. I dedicate this day of love to the Little girl I love the most. I hope to grow old with her and share in the beautiful moments of life.

Sometimes the plans we make for ourselves don't happen.....It's the little surprises that we don't plan on that can become life's most beautiful treasures. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. In spite of those mistakes, God decided to bless me with the most beautiful little girl a Mom could ask for. I'm still trying to figure it all out. Life is still a struggle but who couldn't atleast get through it with a smile when you have Jazz.

Happy Valentine's to my Baby Girl-

Love Teen Mom....the lost footage

Little Jazzy is my Love today.

Valentine's stalker

When I was 17 I was on the road full time. While on the road I met a young gentlemen who was the lighting director for all the events. Every night after my set I would sneak to the back up in the rafters and watch the rest of the show with him while he did all this crazy lighting stuff. It was completely innocent and we talked about staying virgins and not kissing anyone till our wedding. Ummmmm, let's keep it movin. So, Valentine's rolled around and I had zero experience in this department. He called me at home the day before Vday and I was sooooooo excited. The tour had just went on break for a couple days and he was already calling. I was a giddy girl when he called me. He asked me " Nik, I need to know if you are going to be home tomorrow......I have something very special coming to you". I was like.......ummmmm, yeah I happen to be sitting at home all day! We hung up and I started to panic!!!!!! I asked my Mom what I should do. I was like "oh no, V-day is tomorrow and I didn't get him anything"! So I called a florist in his home town of like Indiana or something. I sent him a balloon bouquet and a Teddy bear.....maybe even chocolates. I was quite the little spender when I was a kid. The afternoon of Valentine's rolled around and FINALLY my Mom came into my room and said "a card came in the mail for you". I opened the card and there was like an elephant or puppy on the front. Inside it said something like "so nice having a pal like you.Your friend, Justin". I was mortified. I received a picture from him the next day of what looked like an assorted funeral arrangement of flowers and bears from myself. His Mom was happy to have the decorations. When the tour went back out he didn't talk to me much anymore. I guess it was a little overkill. That stands as one of my most embarrassing moments. Hope you all enjoy Valentine's day and show lot's of love to the people who really matter.